The Poem
by johnpatgillespie
Summary: Hiccstrid. Hiccup is working in the forge one day when Astrid comes to read him a poem she wrote. Hiccup tells her the whole world needs to hear it, but it might not be the whole world that Astrid wrote it for. Basically the story of how Hiccup and Astrid got together. No longer one shot. Rated T for sex references and hints of a helmet sniffing fetish. Reviews will be appreciated.
1. I wrote it for you

The sun shone surprisingly brightly as Hiccup woke up to see his dragon Toothless practically half asleep. "Morning bud" he said as he went over to his sleeping reptile. "Why don't we go out for a flight, huh? That ought to wake you up". Hiccup took his incredibly tired dragon down the stairs and headed for the door, only to be stopped however when a voice said "Hiccup, you and I need to talk." "Toothless, just go outside bud, I'll be out in a minute" Hiccup said, motioning Toothless to go while he turned to face his father. "Hey Dad. What's up?"

"Hiccup, as you know, you're 19 years of age now, and I'm not a young man anymore" Stoick explained while turning to get his helmet off of a shelf. "Sooner or later you're going to have to take on my responsibility as your own. One day, you will be fulfilling your destiny and running the village as the chief of Berk. And, to be honest son, I'd like to see me grandchildren before I'm gone, so that is why I-Hiccup?" he continued before realising that his son had gone while he was giving his speech, presumably doing so after the use of the word "grandchildren".

Elsewhere, Hiccup was adding some paint applications and finishing touches to his new helmet. He had designed it as to keep the wind out of his face when riding Toothless or even when using his newly built flight suit, if he ever wore it of course. He then placed his helmet in a box next to his ornate shield and his gas powered fire sword, which he had called Inferno, before pushing the box to the side. When suddenly he heard a voice that said "Hiccup, are you there?" "Oh, hi Astrid. I'm so glad you're not my dad" he answered. Astrid walked up to him before they heard a voice that said "Hiccup. Where are you?". This time it was his father, prompting Hiccup to dart under the table, Astrid joining him in his hiding place. Stoick walked into the room and looked around. "Hm, I was sure I heard something. Oh well" he said before leaving.

"So Astrid, what brings you here?" Hiccup asked once his father had gone. "I need to talk to you about something, Hiccup so can we just sit down here for a minute please" she answered. "Well, sure, anything. Just tell me" Hiccup said, before Astrid reluctantly told him "I…have…written…a poem". Hiccup said "really? You write poetry". "Well kind of" Astrid responded. "I never actually read my poetry to anyone, but I wanted to read this to you because you're smart and you know what good poetry is". "Well, I'll see what I can do. I'm all ears. Read away."

"Well, here goes" Astrid said before hesitantly reading her poem.

_I'll like you forever, but I'll love you for always._

_I've known you for a real long time, and I can't believe I made this rhyme._

_I think about you day and night, because you make my life seem bright._

_My heart feels higher than a dove, when it's lifted by your love._

_I wish to spend my life with you, that's the thing I'd choose to do._

_Because I'll like you forever, but I'll love you for always._

"Astrid" Hiccup said. "That was amazing. One of the best poems I've ever heard. You're a natural". "Well, I am all natural, yes" Astrid said proudly, clearly having misinterpreted Hiccup's words as she puffed out her chest, putting emphasis on her breasts. "I mean a natural poet. Sorry. But seriously, Astrid, why haven't you read this in public?". "I just didn't think that anyone would like them" Astrid explained. "Astrid, listen to me. You're as smart as you are beautiful. If you write poetry that good, the world deserves to hear it. Trust me, everyone is going to love it" Hiccup said before kissing her on the cheek and going to find Toothless. When Astrid got up from under the table, she slumped into a chair with disappointment. "But I didn't write it for the world" she said quietly. "I wrote it for you". Before she left, she saw Hiccup's helmet in the box and looked at it. She checked to make sure no one was looking before pressing the inside of the helmet to her face and inhaling the smell of the inside. Hiccup had already worn this helmet before, therefore it definitely smelt like him, so much in fact that Astrid almost fainted with bliss, only not doing so when her dragon Stormfly called for food. Astrid snapped out of her wonder world phase and went to feed her Nadder, unknowingly leaving her poem on the table.

Sooner or later, Ruffnut came into the forge looking for Hiccup. In the four years that had passed since the battle with the Red Death, Ruffnut had what had developed from a small crush into a full blown infatuation with Hiccup. Hiccup had after all matured into quite the young man. His working in the forge meant he had some pretty neat muscles. He even managed to get abs in the past few years. Of course the only thing that stood between her and Hiccup was his close friendship with Astrid, who with an attraction to Hiccup that equalled Ruffnut's had made the two young girls bitter rivals in the process, Hiccup himself not knowing of either of their affections to him. Just then, Ruffnut looked on the table and saw the poem. After reading it and seeing the words _By Astrid Hofferson _on the bottom, a wicked smile came to Ruffnut's face. "I've got myself an idea" she said quietly. And it was a terribly cruel idea. One that Ruffnut was certain that it would tear Hiccup away from Astrid and sew him ever so closer to herself. Ruffnut put the poem in her jacket and left to put her plan in action.

Later on, Astrid had just dismounted Stormfly when she heard Ruffnut's voice, followed by laughter. She hid around a corner and saw Ruffnut, accompanied by Snotlout, Fishlegs and Tuffnut, she was reading Astrid's poem, and they were laughing at it.

"RUFFNUT!" Astrid screamed as she stormed over to the group. Snotlout said "Hey Astrid. Ruff was reading you-AAAHHH!" before being grabbed by the hair and kicked in the face by Astrid, who then said "you…piece…of…shi-

"Genius! Right?" Ruffnut said sarcastically. "I found this lovely paper in the forge, after you developed a helmet-sniffing-fetish!" she continued before tossing Hiccup's helmet to her, and adding "when you're done with it, just give it to me and I'll give it to Hiccup when I'm done getting an orgasm from him! Ha ha!"

"You actually think you can get Hiccup before me?" Astrid taunted.

"Well, not to blow my own horn, but I'm way hotter than you, Astrid. And younger than you! So I'm not going to blow my own horn, 'cause I'll be blowing Hiccup's horn sooner or later anyway! And you can just get with ugly over here!"

"That is not funny!" Snotlout responded angrily.

"I…am…going…to…KILL YOU!" Astrid screamed. "Oh, I'd like to see you tr-AAHH!" Ruffnut said before Astrid grabbed her, sending them both crashing to the ground. Astrid cupped Ruffnut's cheek and slammed a fist into her face. Once she had spat out three teeth, Ruffnut head butted Astrid and pulled off one of her shoulder pads, tearing her shirt slightly also. Astrid grabbed a rock and threw it at Ruffnut's abdomen, performing a 360 back flip which sent Ruffnut back at least 10 feet. Astrid jumped on top of Ruffnut and held her rival down, Ruffnut moving her head slightly as to avoid being head butted by Astrid, who's face crashed into the dirt. "You can't even keep a boyfriend. Look at Thuggory!" Ruffnut taunted, which angered Astrid to the point of no control, grabbing Ruffnut by her head and holding her down, before zipping in and biting Ruffnut's ear, Ruffnut screaming in pain afterwards. Elsewhere, Hiccup was putting on his newly made flight suit on top of a cliff just outside of Berk. When he heard Ruffnut's scream, he shouted "Toothless!" but seeing that his dragon was asleep back at his house, had no choice but to jump off of the cliff and open his flight suit. To his surprise, it worked perfectly, sending him gently down to where the commotion was happening. He rushed to where Astrid and Ruffnut were fighting and pulled Astrid away, Ruffnut gripping her torn, bleeding ear once freed from Astrid's grasp. Astrid tried to attack Ruffnut again, but was unable to get to her rival with Hiccup holding her. "Snotlout! Get Ruffnut out of here! And someone pass me that helmet please" Hiccup said, to which his friends obeyed, Snotlout pulling Ruffnut away and picking up the helmet, which he returned to Hiccup. "Here you go, cousin" Snotlout said as he gave Hiccup the helmet, before Ruffnut punched him in the face and Hiccup said "guys, help Snotlout!".

Hiccup held onto Astrid as he dragged her back to the forge, Astrid angrily kicking and screaming every step of the way there. When Hiccup finally got Astrid into the forge, he sat her down on a bench inside, before shutting the door and saying "okay, so can we just talk about what happened out there, please?"

"What does it look like happened. I was this close to killing Ruffnut and then you came and ruined everyth-WILL YOU JUST GET OFF ME! IT'S NOT EVEN MY BLOOD!" Astrid screamed as Hiccup tried to wipe some blood from her mouth with his hand. "Look Astrid, why don't we just talk about why that happened, hm?"

"Look, I went into the village, saw that two faced son of a yak reading my poem and she said she was hotter than me and then I bit her on the ear. Simple as."

"You bit her on the ear? Come on Astrid. That's not you" Hiccup said, before sitting next to her and reaching to her, Astrid initially tensing at his actions, before he said "it's okay, it's alright. Come here" as he gently embraced her, Astrid beginning to cry on his shoulder. "Come on you. Why the tears, huh?" Hiccup asked, to which Astrid answered "Ruffnut told me today that I could never keep a boyfriend, she used Thuggory as an example".

"Thuggory the Meathead? Mogadon's son? Isn't he dead now?" Hiccup asked. "Yes" Astrid answered through her tears. "About ten years ago, Mogadon came to Berk for a peace treaty signing. I met Thuggory and we got to know each other. Then, (sigh) I was stupid enough to go in for a kiss, and then he revealed he wasn't even interested in me. He was just using me to get to Ruffnut."

"That's heartless" Hiccup said. "They dated for a couple of years, one day Thuggory was killed in a dragon attack and Ruffnut promised me that if I ever fell in love again then she would take him away from me" Astrid continued as she hugged Hiccup tighter. "Don't worry Astrid" Hiccup said as they separated. "If you ever fall in love, you'll never be rejected. You'll find a good guy to help you, someone who cares about you. Someone whose smart enough to see the intelligence, the sensitivity, the beauty that I see".

"You really see beauty in me?" Astrid asked. "Of course Astrid. I've seen beauty in you since we were like, five years old. And if Thuggory didn't see the goddess who I see, then he must have lost his eyes in a dragon attack"

"Well Hiccup, it's time I told you the truth about that poem. I wrote it about you" Astrid said, pulling down the torn part of her shirt, revealing the black strap on her bra. "Really?" Hiccup asked, both surprised and confused at Astrid's revelation, as well as trying to divert his attention from her torn shirt. "Yeah, I did. See, Hiccup. You're my inspiration. The human incarnation of my happiness. You and Stormfly are the only reasons that I get up in the morning with a happy look on my face. Whenever you fly off to another island with Toothless, I just have a mini breakdown every time cause I fear that you're never gonna come back and when you do, I'm me again okay. You know, it's like no Hiccup, no Astrid, right. That's my analysis of you, Hiccup"

"Well, thank you for telling me this, Astrid" Hiccup said thankfully. Astrid clutched her kneecap while she stared at Hiccup, a wide smile on her face. She knew that she wouldn't be able to hold off her urges for this attractively skinny Viking much longer. Hiccup simply said "boy, what a day. My head is spinning" and before he knew it he had his back against the bench, Astrid having lost control as she desperately attempted to make a pass at Hiccup, her lips pressing aggressively against his. Hiccup grabbed her wrists and attempted to reason with her while she trailed kisses across his cheek and down from his ear to his neck. "No Astrid, we shouldn't be doing this! Astrid stop! Astrid!" he said as he tried to push the desperate young woman away, only for her to cover his mouth with her hand as she said "I'm sorry but I can't stop myself Hiccup" before continuing with a more desperate tone in her voice as she said "I know what I'm doing is crazy and I know Ruffnut is hotter but I love you and I can't _stand _it anymore!". Hiccup continued his attempts to get Astrid off of him as he stood from the bench, Astrid still refusing to let go as she continued to kiss the top of his mouth, her lips brushing against his thin stubble while she wiped her still bloody fingers on his green shirt and his small body armour. "Oh come on, I just washed this!" Hiccup said as Astrid grabbed his hand and pulled it over to her waist, trailing it up her stomach to pressing it onto her breast. Once his cold fingers felt her bra, Hiccup finally grabbed Astrid's shoulders and pushed her away, Astrid landing on the carpet in the process.

When Astrid hit the floor did Hiccup realise what he just did. "Oh my gods! Astrid…a-a-ar-are y-y-you ok-k-kay?" he stuttered as Astrid stood up.

Astrid looked at the floor Hiccup had pushed her onto, and said "you…you…rejected…me"

"What? No. No. I-I-I didn't…I just… (sigh) yes, I'm sorry but I did"

"No…no, this…can't be right…you said that…if I ever fell in love, I would…I would never be rejected…and then…then you rejected me!"

"Astrid, I'm sorry. You're smart, you're beautiful, and I love that, but that was highly inappropriate what you just did!"

"Loving you was highly inappropriate?!"

"Yes. I mean no. I mean, ugh. Loving me is fine, it's just…going crazy like that and trying to do whatever you were doing is highly inappropriate"

"How is that even remotely inappropriate? I love you and I thought you loved me. I just wanted to…um…you know, consummate our union"

"Consummate our union? What union?! We're not together Astrid!"

"Are you using reverse psychology on me Hiccup?"

"Reverse Psychology? No!"

"So when you say no, you're actually saying yes, right?"

"What?"

"And if you're saying we're not together, you actually mean we are?"

"I am not using reverse psychology! We are not a couple. I'm not your boyfriend and you're not my girlfriend!"

"Are you sure this isn't reve-

"YES!"

"So, you rejected me. Just like that. After everything we just did. The poem I wrote for you. The things you said to me. The kiss you gave me" Astrid said as she felt her cheek.

"Look Astrid. I'm sorry, but we just can't do anything like that right now. I'm not ready for it yet"

"We're nineteen years old Hiccup. If you're not ready now, how will you ever be?" Astrid said angrily before shoving past Hiccup and leaving the forge. Hiccup only expected a punch on the shoulder, but not even that came.

"Don't you worry boy. There are plenty of other dragons in the skies" Gobber said as he added some finishing touches to the saddle he had made for his dragon Grump. Hiccup still looked at where Astrid was hugging Stormfly and said "but I've had a thing for that dragon since the day I met her". He had to talk to Astrid and make things right with her. It had been two days since it happened, but Hiccup knew that Astrid was a Viking. Vikings don't forget what they don't forgive.

Meanwhile, Astrid was crying as she talked to Stormfly. Astrid had to make others think that she was angered, rather than heartbroken, by Hiccup's rejection. Stormfly wiped Astrid's tears away with her smoothened tail, only for Astrid to think about Hiccup and cry even more. When suddenly a voice said "hey Astrid!".

"Oh come on Hiccup, re-" Astrid said before being punched in the face by Ruffnut, who now wore a bandage over her bitten ear. "Ruffnut! What are you doing here, you boyfriend stealing son of a troll!?". "I came here to get you out of my way!" Ruffnut shouted as she kicked Astrid in the jaw, sending her five feet away. Stormfly attempted to defend her master, but Ruffnut, having already anticipated it, got out a chicken leg and threw it behind her, Stormfly now diverting her attention to the chicken leg instead of Astrid, who Ruffnut yanked up to the ground before throwing her down again. Several long strands of blonde hair were now in Ruffnut's hands as she tried to goad Astrid into fighting back. Believing herself to have already lost Hiccup, Astrid saw neither need nor will to fight back, instead allowing Ruffnut to turn her onto her back and kick her in the throat. Astrid was now lying on her front as she coughed up her own blood, while Ruffnut grabbed a piece of mast from a recovered Viking ship, preparing to use it as a bludgeon. It was only now that Hiccup looked out the forge window to see Astrid being beaten, before jumping out of the window to stop the fighting. He rushed to where Astrid was to help her, cupping her face in his hands and saying her name to try and wake her up. "H-h-h-hiccup?" she asked weakly, barely able to open her black eyes. "It's me Astrid, are you okay?" Hiccup said as he wiped the blood from her nose and mouth, before Astrid screamed "Hiccup look out!" but it was too late as Hiccup was already struck to the floor by Ruffnut's bludgeon, Ruffnut herself soon being thrown to the floor as Astrid attacked her in anger. Hiccup snapped out of his near-unconscious state, before feeling his nose and cleaning the small trickle of blood from his nostril. He then heard Astrid and Ruffnut shouting, before running to where the two girls were still wrestling one another to the ground, Astrid somehow gaining a massive advantage over the now equally beaten and bloody Ruffnut, who eventually managed to dig her sharpened nails into Astrid's cheek, swiping them across her rival's face to now leave long scratches on Astrid's already bruised cheek. The blood from Astrid's clawed face now dripped onto Ruffnut's forehead as she pinned the latter to the floor, before Astrid dragged her by the hair and threw her into a cupboard in the forge.

Once Astrid had locked the door as to stop her rival from escaping, Hiccup said "okay, can you just tell me what was happening then!". "Well, I think I should tell you that it was your fault!" Astrid shouted angrily.

"How exactly is it my fault? Please tell me"

"You rejected me an-

"Ugh, are we still talking about that! That was two days ago!"

"And we're Vikings, Hiccup! We don't forget what we don't forgive!"

"What exactly do you have to forgive me for? Trying to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life?"

"Oh no, Hiccup. My biggest mistake was thinking that you loved me!"

"I do!" Hiccup shouted, causing them both to go quiet. Astrid was first to break the silence with "you do…what?" Hiccup didn't answer, so Astrid asked again, but Hiccup only looked to his prosthetic. "What do you do, Hiccup?!"

"I do love you! And it's why I rejected you!" Hiccup answered. "What?" Astrid asked, quite confused at his answer as Hiccup took her hands. "Look Astrid, I love you. I always have and I always will. I want to protect you, and that's why I had to reject you. I had no other choice!"

"You did have another choice! That choice was you and I having…you know…relations. That's the stupidest thing you've ever said! You should have just porked me! If you did love me that's what you would have done! You would have made me feel loved, happy, and beautiful! If you loved me then you would have done what a boy does to a girl when he loves her! And when I say that, I obviously mean sex!"

"And what if we did that, Astrid? Huh? What if we had sex and I got you pregnant? What if Dagur or Savage came back? What if they kidnapped you and stabbed you there?" Hiccup asked, pointing to Astrid's stomach. "If I lost you and any baby we had I just wouldn't forgive myself! And… (sigh) and that's why we can't do anything like that yet. I'm sorry"

"Hiccup" Astrid said as she stroked the side of his face. "I'll like you forever, but I'll love you for always. I don't care if you're the buff guy from Bucket's painting or the skinny shrimp you were four years ago. I don't care if you're a master tactician or a clumsy young hooligan. Hell, I don't even care if your thing is so small it's invisible or if it's so big it can't even fit in me. Because I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want to stay with you for the rest of my life. And, I would be proud; it would be an honour for me, to carry your children. Because I don't know if you've noticed Hiccup but…I love you" she concluded before gently grabbing him by the shoulders and kissing him softly. After about a minute, Hiccup began to return her kisses as they became deeper and slightly hungrier, Astrid whispering several things between kisses.

When suddenly, the cupboard burst open and Ruffnut lunged at Astrid, sending them both into a wall, Astrid getting caught by her shirt on a sharp rock. "I'll kill you for this!" Ruffnut said angrily, before Astrid jumped from the wall, her shirt being torn off as quickly as the table cloth trick. Before Ruffnut knew it, Astrid had her on the floor, beating her close to a pulp, before grabbing her by the hair and throwing her out of the window, Ruffnut landing in a puddle of mud because of it. Astrid picked up the tattered piece of blue cloth that was once her shirt as she turned to face Hiccup, who covered his eyes at the sight of her very revealing bra. "its okay sweetie" she said to him. "You're my boyfriend, so you're supposed to see me like this" she continued before walking over to him. "You're actually supposed to see a lot more of me than this". "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Astrid, what are you do-uuuuuuhhhhhh" Hiccup tried to say while she pulled it down lower, showing even more of her C cup cleavage, before asking "you like what you see, dragon trainer?" as she unhooked the back of it. She pressed her lips against Hiccup's while she let the bra fall on the floor next to her shirt. "A-a-a-strid" Hiccup stuttered before the now topless Astrid took a step back, Hiccup once again blushing at a loss for words before saying "w-w-what a-about y-y-you-r shirt?" Astrid walked up to him and said "ah, I was gonna change that anyway. Way too tight for the ladies over here. I might try dark red next time, you know with a hood on the back, little more fur than before. What do you think, Hiccup?"

"I love that idea" Hiccup answered before kissing her. "But not as much as I love you". This time it was Astrid's turn to blush before she said "so, we're together now right?". "If you want to be" Hiccup answered. "You're not using reverse psychology now, right?". "I never was, no". "So Hiccup, if we're together now, can we…you know…consummate, the union?". Hiccup was once again blushing as he said "well, I don't know, I mean. Come on, Astrid, I have not the slightest idea on how to do…that". Hiccup tried to think of an excuse before Astrid kissed him and said "it's okay, we're a team now. We'll figure it out together". Before Hiccup knew it his back was once again against the bench, Astrid kicking the door closed as she sat over Hiccup, her lips clashing with his. Hiccup had never thought that a small incident with a poem could lead to him being with the girl of his dreams, as she closed all of the windows in the forge before they did things a T rating couldn't describe.


	2. The day after

Hiccup opened his eyes to find himself in the forge, the sun starting to peek through the cracks in the wooden shades. He had woken up from one of the most unusual dreams he had ever had. In this dream, Astrid had read him a poem she had written before getting into a fight with Ruffnut, one that ended with Ruff getting bleeding teeth marks on her ear. Hiccup tried to calm Astrid down in this dream before she tried to make a pass at him. He rejected her at first but then Astrid was nearly killed in another fight with Ruffnut, and the second time she kissed Hiccup they ended up sleeping together. Toothless was there next to him when he woke up on what resembled the bench where he was with Astrid in their dream. Hiccup zipped up the fly on his trousers before stroking Toothless.

"Morning bud" he said to his fully awake dragon. "I had the craziest dream last night Toothless. Astrid had written this beautiful poem and was reading it to me. Then I, actually on a bench just like this one, anyway then somehow I ended up sleeping with her, boy what a dream."

"Well, I'm sure there wasn't much sleeping going on, Hiccup" Astrid said as she woke up next to him, Hiccup being scared out of his wits as he heard her voice, landing face first on the floor. _Maybe that wasn't a dream after all_, he thought as he stood up, before saying "hey Astrid. Um, how, uh, long have you been here".

"I've been here since your dream became a reality last night" Astrid answered sarcastically. Hiccup soon realised that it wasn't a dream he had at all. Astrid still had two black eyes and a split lip from fighting Ruffnut, as well as her torn blue shirt being hung over the bench behind her, Astrid only wearing unzipped pants and a very cleavage-exposing bra. Hiccup sat down in bewilderment as he looked to the floor in confusion, Astrid yawning before kissing him on the cheek. "Good morning, by the way" she said, remembering how she had not said it when she actually woke up. "Wait so. You read me your poem three days ago, right?"

"Yeah, obviously"

"And then you bit Ruffnut on the ear?"

"(sigh) Yes, and I know what I did was crazy but you have to understand I did it out of love, sweetie"

"Are you talking about biting Ruff or the first time you tried to seduce me?"

"The latter" Astrid answered before grabbing Hiccup by his shirt and pulling him over to kiss him. Hiccup pulled what could be described as a "wait-what-are-you-doing-and-why-are-you-doing-it" face as her tongue begged his lips for entrance, Hiccup eventually allowing it after remembering what happened the night before. When she finally pulled away, Hiccup asked "what was that for?"

"That was to wake me up a bit" Astrid said before grabbing Hiccup's hand and placing it against her breast while she gave him a kiss twice as deep as before. After about five minutes Astrid pulled away and said "and that's for everything else". Astrid rose from the bench and walked toward the door, but pulled back after realising that she still only wore leggings and a bra. She looked at Hiccup and said "um, could you just stitch this shirt up for me, babe?"

"Oh, of course, anything for you Astrid" Hiccup said before sewing up the tears in Astrid's shirt, allowing her to go out in public again. When he gave it back to her, she said "thanks honey. I'm just gonna go ride my dragon now" before kissing him and whispering into his ear "cause I really enjoyed riding yours", this comment making Hiccup's eyes widen to their full extent, before adding "see you later then, my dragon training heartthrob" as she left the forge, Hiccup still staring at her wide-eyed in disbelief.

When suddenly, Snotlout ran through the village with a Rumblehorn dragon chasing him. "Somebody help me!" he yelled as he jumped for cover into the first place he could see: the forge. In the forge, Hiccup was pulling on any clothes that had been discarded since his encounter with Astrid, when he was immediately interrupted as a flaming Snotlout came rushing through the window. "What in Thor's name are you doing Snotlout?!" Hiccup asked in shock. "Don't ask me" Snotlout said before pointing to where the Rumblehorn was coming in. The dragon charged toward Snotlout, who covered his eyes and awaited his demise. After a while, Snotlout opened his eyes to see the Rumblehorn on the floor, Hiccup having jumped between the two to pacify it using his fire sword Inferno. "Oh thank you, cousin!" Snotlout said to Hiccup. "I owe you one". "Whatever you say Snotlout" Hiccup said before turning to the Rumblehorn, petting it on the nose as he said "You kinda remind me of my dad"

Later on, Hiccup had just finished testing his upgraded flight suit, before a female voice said "hey there, dragon boy". Hiccup turned to face the girl; though it wasn't the girl he expected or wanted to see when he turned around. "Oh, hi Ruffnut" he said awkwardly, praying to the gods that Astrid wasn't around to see this.

"Wasn't Astrid crazy yesterday? She's just too crazy for you Hiccup" Ruffnut said as she stroked her injured ear with her finger as she unbuttoned her shirt slightly. "I've always sensed this chemistry between us two, in case you're, you know, interested" Hiccup was trying not to look at her exposed cleavage as he tried to say "look Ruffnut. I don't think it's a good idea to do that. See, I don't...think that Astrid is, um, too...crazy for me. Because I, um, slept...with her last night."

By the time Astrid came around the corner, she saw one of the most unusual sights of her life: Hiccup on the floor with a bruise on his cheek, Ruffnut attempting to "kill" him, only being restrained by Snotlout, who was trying to pay back his debt to Hiccup. Ruffnut started hitting Snotlout in the nose to force him off, but Snotlout still held onto her, yelling "Hiccup...you...should...run...now!" Astrid ran over and kicked Ruffnut in the face with a backflip, knocking her unconscious instantly. "Hiccup, are you okay, honey?" she asked as she helped her new boyfriend to his feet. "Well, much better now that you're here" Hiccup answered before kissing her on the lips, as he then noticed what she was wearing. "Hey, you're wearing red, aren't you"? "Do you like it?" she asked, when he answered with "have you been set on fire, because you're pretty hot". "Wait, you two are…dating?" Snotlout asked surprisingly. "Yes we are, Snotlout. We had sex last night and now we are in L.O.V.E" Astrid answered. "So, Ruffnut is out of the picture then?"

"Yes, I think so. All yours cousin. Just don't tell anyone about me and Astrid okay" Hiccup answered before walking off with Astrid, as she told him "so, I wonder what it'll be like having Snotlout for a cousin in law". "Well, he kinda saved my ass just then so yeah; he has some good qualities about him. If you ask me he's Ruff's perfect match" Hiccup answered. "Well, he's not as perfect as my match" Astrid said as she kissed Hiccup on the cheek before leaving.

Meanwhile, Ruffnut regained consciousness as she saw a boy with dark hair looking down on her, pulling him in and kissing him before realising who it was. "Snotlout!? Where's Hiccup, you pig-nosed piece of…"

"Okay before you finish that, I'm just going to say that you look beautiful today, Ruffnut. And also, Hiccup isn't interested in you because he loves Astrid. First came love, then came sex and there will come marriage if those two love birds are lucky enough for it."

"What!?"

"Look basically, Hiccup got with Astrid and is officially off the market, but I'm still available. So, can we try that kiss again please?" Snotlout said before being punched in the face, bashing into Fishlegs in the process. When he saw Ruffnut storming off, he said "hey, where are you going? I'm the only single boy on this island,

, you know. I mean, come on what, you're gonna try get with your brother? Sorry Ruffnut, there's nobody left on the island for you"

"I'm still here" Fishlegs said, before Snotlout answered "yeah exactly Fishlegs, nobody. Come on Ruffnut, I'm growing facial hair right now! You sounded beautiful with that poem on Saturday. I mean sure, Astrid wrote it but it's the delivery that really matters!"

That night, Hiccup lay on the bench in the forge, looking up at the stars through the window. He had always looked at the stars in his free time since he was a little boy. Toothless had gone back to the house after trying to dig a tunnel in a corner, only managing to reach a dead end. Hiccup had always thought the stars beautiful, although not even the brightest star in the sky couldn't match the goddess-like beauty of his now girlfriend Astrid. While he thought of this he wondered what Ruffnut was up to that afternoon. What was talking about "chemistry" for? And what was she talking about when she said Astrid was too crazy for him? Her craziness was one of the many reasons he loved Astrid. But of course the most mind-boggling of these mysteries was what Ruffnut did with her shirt. As far as Hiccup was concerned, Ruff had truly crossed the line with that. _It didn't even look like she was wearing a bra_ Hiccup thought to himself. Just then, a seductive female voice said "hey, you" as Hiccup turned to see Astrid joining him on the bench. She was wearing a shirt similar to the one she wore when Ruffnut attacked Hiccup, although it had a V-neck cut down to just above her stomach, her impressive cleavage visible for all to see. Not that it mattered, for they were the only two people up at this time. Hiccup looked at her face and couldn't tell whether Astrid was wearing eye shadow or if her eyes were still bruised from Ruffnut. He soon found out it was the former as Astrid snuggled up to him.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked as she interlocked the fingers on her right hand with Hiccup's left. "Just, watching the stars" Hiccup answered as he felt Astrid move closer by the half-minute. "Honestly, that sounds boring" Astrid said as she pulled herself up to Hiccup's height. "Do you want to spice it up a little?" Before Hiccup could answer Astrid had already pressed herself against him and was trailing kisses from his forehead down to his nose to his lips, where she stuck her tongue deep into his mouth, Hiccup returning the favour once she had done this. "Wow that was incredible" he said once she had pulled out, before she said "oh, it's not over yet" as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Hiccup, what's the best thing to ever happen to you?"

"Well, there are two things actually: Toothless, and you" Hiccup answered, before asking "what about you. Stormfly?". "Yes, and you" Astrid said. She thought in silence for a moment before saying "Hiccup"

"Yeah"

"Have you… (laughs) sorry, it doesn't matter"

"Come on, tell me"

"Have you ever…thought…about kids?"

"Kids? What do you mean?"

"You know. Kids. Children. Babies. You ever thought about it?"

"For Toothless or Stormfly?" Hiccup asked, slightly confused. "No Hiccup" Astrid answered as she sat on his lap. "Not a dragon baby, not for Toothless or Stormfly. For us. A human baby. So, have you ever thought about having a baby?". "W-w-w-we-wel-well, I-I-I-I-I-I w-w-w-wouldn't u-u-usu-ally b-b-be a-a-ask-asked a q-q-qu-quest-tion l-l-li-like t-th-that". "Hiccup, if I'm making you uncomfortable then I-

"No-no-no-no, I-I-I'm f-f-fine it's j-j-just…I've never thought I'd have kids, so why are you asking me this, I mean it's not like you're pr…wait, you're not…are you? Oh my gods…I can't believe this…I'm really freaking out right now! Astrid, please punch me in the face, cause this is my fault…I should never have been on top of you for those five minutes…ugh, oh my…

"Hiccup!" Astrid said, grabbed him by the shoulders and said "I'm not, it's okay". Hearing this allowed Hiccup to calm down. "Oh, thank Freya!" he said as he finally relaxed, Astrid pulling herself to his ear and saying "I just want to be". Hearing _these_ words almost sent Hiccup into another freak out stage, but he managed to fight back his psyche and say "what?" "Well, think about it Hiccup. You and I are close; you care about me and I care about you, we have pretty good chemistry, plus we just porked last night so. In my book, these are all good, actually great, signs of a beautiful relationship. All we need to tick off now is, you know, having a family together"

"Yeah but, come on Astrid. We're not even twenty years old yet. And well, what exactly happened to getting married before children. That's what _your_ parents did and it's what _my_ parents did. So, yeah, I don't think it's a good idea to break tradition like that."

"Hiccup" Astrid said before asking "are you proposing?" "No, no please, just listen, Astrid. I'm not, not yet anyway. It's just, (sigh) I don't think that having sex one time makes us ready to have kids or be parents or anything like that. I'm sorry, there's no one else I'd rather have a family with, Astrid but, yeah you know, I'm sorry"

"Okay Hiccup. I understand. Having sex once doesn't make us ready" Astrid said before kissing Hiccup and saying "but doing it twice might do the trick" as she unzipped her leggings and continued to kiss Hiccup deeply. Hiccup eventually returned this before as he said "I think I'm feeling déjà vu from yesterday", before Astrid whispered into his ear "well, I'm not wearing a bra tonight", Hiccup once again becoming wide-eyed in disbelief. As they kissed, Ruffnut climbed to the window on the roof and looked down on them without being noticed. She spied on the two and enjoyed watching them, before getting her notebook out. On the next clean page she drew a picture of herself in a make out position, before tearing out the page and holding it over her view of Astrid, making it look as if it were herself kissing Hiccup. Ruffnut smiled in an almost perverted way at this image, when suddenly the ceiling broke, sending her crashing to the floor, interrupting the happy couple's session. Hiccup saw who had landed and said "Ruffnut? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know. I was just out for an evening stroll and I saw an um…amazing singing Terrible Terror on the roof and I went to pet it, and I um…

"And then you started spying on us, you bitch!" Astrid shouted before getting off the bench. "No, well yes actually, because I was, um…practicing my stealth skills"

"And because you wanted what I had!" Astrid added before grabbing the picture Ruffnut had drawn and tearing it up, her face going red with anger. "Astrid, calm down babe" Hiccup tried to say. His words would have worked had it not been for Ruffnut saying "yeah, Astrid. Listen to this sexy boy over here", Hiccup saying "oh no" before Astrid yelled "that's it! You're dead!" as she threw herself onto Ruffnut, sending them both crashing into the wall. Ruffnut punched Astrid in the stomach before Astrid hit her directly in the face, knocking her to the floor. Ruffnut looked at the blood on her hand and tackled Astrid to sit on her, punching her in the nose and face several times. Hiccup tried to break up their fistfight by pulling Ruffnut by her vest, only for Ruffnut to headbutt him out of the way, Astrid grabbing her and kneeing her in the groin moments later. When Ruffnut was on the floor clutching her injured privates, Astrid ran to Hiccup to help him. Once he had stood up she asked "you okay honey?", only for him to answer "I'm just dizzy from seeing your radiance" before they kissed. Ruffnut turned to see them once she had recovered, and screamed in anger as she grabbed Astrid by her shoulders, her nails digging into Astrid's flesh, and sent both girls falling to the floor. Hiccup also fell into a corner, his head being stuck in a bucket Gobber had left behind as he crashed into a wall, falling almost unconscious. As Hiccup was distracted, Ruffnut pushed Astrid and caused them both to be trapped in the dead ended tunnel Toothless had dug. The cramped space was barely big enough for both of them, this fact causing them to be pressed against each other. Astrid looked at the blood that was dribbling from the claw marks on her shoulders and, seeing no other way out, swiped Ruffnut across the face with her equally sharp nails, blood starting to come from the three scratches that were now on Ruffnut's cheek. Ruffnut scratched Astrid's waist as Astrid clawed at her shoulders, their fistfight now beginning to turn into a catfight. Hiccup finally took the bucket off of his head and tried to walk to where the girls were, only for his prosthetic to break and him to fall over. The two girls had separated briefly to regain their strength, having already fought to exhaustion. Both were clawed and bloody, Ruffnut now having scratches on both shoulders and the top of her thigh, as well as one on her ear, which had opened the scab from Astrid's teeth marks. Astrid was now holding one of the torn shoulder straps on her shirt, trying to stop her breast from being exposed, while she clutched the bloody scratches on the left side of her stomach. "Do you give up?" she taunted as she flicked her loose, messy, blood-stained hair out of her eyes. "No way Ass-trid" Ruffnut said as she tried to cover her injuries. "Hiccup's not here to help you this time. So let's see how you like it!" she added before grabbing Astrid and biting her ear in vengeance, Astrid's screams drawing Hiccup to where they were. Astrid pulled Ruffnut off of her, and kneed her in the mouth, Ruffnut laying in a small puddle of blood with five teeth scattered around her. Hiccup managed to pull Astrid out of the pit, Astrid grabbing Hiccup to stop him from getting Ruffnut. "Leave her down there with the other turds" she said to Hiccup as she wiped the blood from her mouth and kissed him.

Hiccup pulled away as he looked at Astrid's ear. "Oh no, you're hurt" he said, before she sat on the bench and started to cry. "I'm sorry" she said. "Aw, what for?" "For doing that. I never should have done that. Look at me now, my shirt is ripped, my hair's a mess and I'm gonna have this notch in my ear for the rest of my life."

"It's okay Astrid" Hiccup said as he wiped the blood from her ear with his finger. "That's not the only shirt you have, and by the way. I like this notch" "You like it" "Well yeah, now we're the same. You have your notch and I have my peg leg. It's unique, it's you, it's actually…well, never mind"

"It's what. Actually what?" Astrid asked before Hiccup whispered "it's…kinda sexy"

"Sexy? This turns you on?" Astrid asked. "Well, maybe not entirely the latter but yeah definitely the former" Hiccup said, before Astrid smiled as let go of the strap on her shirt, Hiccup stuttering "uh, A-a-a-astrid, y-y-your um, b-b-re-

"I know" she said. "I was wondering how you would react. And you reacted perfectly" she added before grabbing him by the shirt and kissing him. Ruffnut saw the pair when she got to the surface, and said "that's it. I'm done with you! I'm going for people with chin tattoos now!" before storming out. While Hiccup was on his back, Astrid on top of him as she took off her shirt entirely, he looked at her scratches and said "uh, Astrid, I think you need medical attention" before she kissed him again and said "it can wait till tomorrow. But for now, well, I think you can guess what we're doing"


	3. Heather's advances

Hiccup woke up in the forge for the second morning in a row. Although this time he knew that it wasn't a dream. His girlfriend Astrid was asleep with her arms around his waist, her left breast hanging out from her torn shirt with some drool and blood hanging from the corner of her mouth. Hiccup gently pulled himself down to where Astrid was sleeping and softly kissed her forehead, only for Astrid to wake up and pull him to her lips for a deeper, more intimate kiss. Once she finally let go, Astrid rubbed her eyes and said "hey you" before hissing in pain as she clutched some deep scratches on her hip from her fight with Ruffnut the night before. "Are you okay?" Hiccup asked, Astrid answering "yeah, it's fine. Really. Just a scratch, honestly". Hiccup corrected her with "more like scratches" as he looked at similar marks on her shoulders and arms, one even just below her neck. Astrid smiled through her winces as she said "its okay. I'll live. What about you. You okay after last night?"

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. I wasn't almost clawed to death by Ruffnut so…" Hiccup answered, prompting Astrid to giggle. She then said "my other shirt's in the saddle bag. I'm just going to swap them round" before emptying her bag and getting out a similar, less revealing shirt, Hiccup turning around while she took off her upper clothing. Astrid observed Hiccup's shyness and said "hey, I'm done now", Hiccup turning back to face her, only to discover that she had lied to him, standing there topless as she said "you don't have to turn around like that Hiccup. You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to see me naked" before pulling on her shirt. Astrid was just in the doorway when Hiccup said "so, I'll see you at the Academy then". Astrid was looking to her right when she saw the other riders, excluding Ruffnut, sitting by a well. She turned to Hiccup as he said "so, I'll see you later", only for Astrid to say "excuse me? Is that it?"

"Is what it?" Hiccup asked, Astrid answering "we have to say goodbye the way a couple are supposed to say it" as she pointed to her lips. Hiccup took her hands and gently kissed her on the cheek, only for Astrid to grab him by the cheeks and pull his lips to hers, the others turning their heads in awe after witnessing this. Hiccup was still shocked in the first minute of their kiss, but eventually was able to return it by the second. When she pulled back, Astrid said "that's how we're saying goodbye now" before turning around and leaving, Hiccup still at a loss for words as her hips swayed from side to side while she walked. Snotlout walked up to Hiccup and said "well, gotta hand it to you, cousin. You beat me to her, and I congratulate you for it"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that Snotlout" Hiccup said, only for Snotlout to answer "ah, don't worry. If she hadn't chosen you, I wouldn't have my eyes on the beautiful Ruffnut, would I?" just before Ruffnut walked over, the scratches on her body covered in plasters. She looked to all the boys talking to Hiccup, before saying "so, why's dragon boy got all the attention for?"

"Well, Ruff" Snotlout answered jokingly. "Hiccup over here just walked out with his girl Astrid."

"And they made out for hours" Tuffnut added. "Why couldn't you get with Hiccup? I wanted to be in line for chief" he asked, only for his sister to kick him in the groin, Tuffnut lying on the ground clutching his privates once she had done so, and storming off. Hiccup asked "you okay, Tuff?" only for Tuffnut to say "she…got me…in the Terrible Terror!" in a very high voice.

Later on, Hiccup was sitting in the Academy after a trust exercise. He scratched Toothless under the chin as he said "there you go bud. That was tiring today, wasn't it? Can't be too careful in case Dagur or Savage come back, right?" Toothless purring like a cat as he lay down to rest, while Hiccup added a few stitches to a saddle he had made for his father's new dragon Skullcrusher. "He looks tired" Astrid said as she came back into the Academy. "Yeah, he is" Hiccup said without turning to face her, Astrid nevertheless wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and trailing kisses from his neck and up from his chin to his lips, Hiccup being slightly hesitant while he ended up on his back with Astrid on top of him, as he said "whoa okay, wait. Astrid we can't do this right now. What if someone sees us?" before turning his head to face the steel gate, only to see it closed tight. "Don't worry, I locked it. Just you and me" Astrid said as she pressed her lips onto his, her tongue eventually becoming involved as well. "Oh (kiss) come on (kiss) Astrid, you know that (kiss) that I (kiss) have to (kiss) to get (kiss) get this saddle (kiss) saddle for Skull (kiss) Skullcrusher (kiss) ready. I (kiss) can't do (kiss)" Hiccup tried to say while she continued her advances, even saying "no Astrid" while he held her back by her shoulders, Astrid showing shock and disappointment in the face that Hiccup had fallen in love with, before Hiccup looked into her hypnotically beautiful blue eyes and said "oh what am I saying, you know I can't resist you" before pulling her to his lips and kissing her almost as deep as she usually kissed him. Astrid pulled out and said "that wasn't like you, Hiccup", Hiccup looking down as he said "I know. I'm sorry, that was stupid and out of line" before Astrid said with a desperately hungrier tone in her voice "I like this new Hiccup, and I want to see more of that" as she zipped down and kissed Hiccup while she slipped her hands round the back of his head, ruffling his attractively scraggy hair with her fingers. Hiccup didn't know how to react to this. The most beautiful girl he knew was currently pressing her lips against his while she stroked his hair with one hand and slipped the other hand under his shirt, her cold fingers touching his recently developed abs. Hiccup wanted to touch every inch of her but feared the possibility of being rejected. Sooner or later Astrid grabbed Hiccup's hand while she continued to kiss him, distracting Hiccup while she pressed his hand to her waist and trailed it up her torso, stopping directly on her right breast. Hiccup didn't even notice this until they had separated, looking at where his hand was and pulling it away nervously, Astrid giggling at his clumsiness.

"I'm s-s-so sorry. I-I-I-I d-d-d-don't even know when I d-d-did that" Hiccup stuttered, only for Astrid to push herself closer to him, kissing him on his left cheek as she said "Hiccup, if we're gonna be a couple, there's something I want you to do", Hiccup saying "of course. I'll do anything for you, Astrid"

"Hiccup, every time you try to…you know, initiate anything we do, you're always shying away and then you're stuttering out an apology for doing it"

"But, come on Astrid. It's not right for me to do that sort of thing."

"Not right? Hiccup, if you love me then it obviously is right to do that"

"I don't know that. For all I know, copping your…feel might make you feel uncomfortable. And if I make you uncomfortable then you'll think I'm some kind of pervert and reject me. Then we'll just break up and never speak to each other ever again."

"You touching my breast won't make me uncomfortable Hiccup. Because I want you to do that! I want you to hug and kiss me and…oh gods, you better believe that I want you to touch every single inch of me. I want you to do that because it'll be you doing it, and I'll love it when you do it because I love you, Hiccup!"

"Well, I love you Astrid. And I'm sorry because I know I'm not perfect but…

"But you are! You're the perfect man for me, Hiccup. And I don't want to lose you to anyone else. Not Ruffnut, not Heather, damn it, not even Toothless. Sorry Toothless" Astrid said, apologising to the now awake Night Fury. "Astrid, I'm sorry. But trust me, I'll make it up to you whatever way I can, I promise you that" Hiccup said, only for Astrid to straighten up her back and puff out her chest. Hiccup was confused by this, until Astrid said "touch me"

"What?!" Hiccup said in even more confusion. "Touch…me" Astrid repeated, before adding "touch my breast. It's all I want you to do Hiccup". Hiccup tried to think of an excuse not to, but eventually said "(sigh) okay. I'm doing this for you" before closing his eyes and reaching out. He still kept his eyes closed while his hand landed on a round but very sharp surface, although he didn't say anything as to avoid insulting his girlfriend. He wondered why her breast was so sharp, until Astrid sighed and said "that's my shoulder pad, Hiccup. Just a little to the left", Hiccup still not opening his eyes as he clumsily slid his hand diagonally down her chest, finally arriving on a soft, firm surface. "Am I there yet?" he asked nervously, to which Astrid said "oh, you better believe you are" Hiccup opening his eyes to make sure she wasn't lying, coming close to fainting after seeing his hand on Astrid's breast, Astrid herself pulling a very seductive smile once he had looked at her.

"Should I apologise for enjoying this?" Hiccup asked, a flare of worry in his voice, before Astrid kissed him lightly on his lips saying "not if I'm enjoying it too", Hiccup regaining his goofy smile once she had said that. That night, in the Great Hall, everyone was celebrating the fact that it had been four years since the battle with the Red Death, and Berk had never been more peaceful. Even Heather and her family arrived to join the celebrations. As Heather sat talking to Tuffnut, Ruffnut came and greeted her old friend. "So, how's everyone doing?" Heather asked, Ruffnut answered with "oh you know. Snotlout and Fishlegs are being perverts. Astrid is being a bitch and Tuff is existing"

"Well, how's Hiccup?"

Hearing Heather say this gave Ruffnut a vengeful idea, before she said "oh Hiccup's doing good. He's living a happy _single_ life with Toothless. All he needs now is a soulmate to accompany him on his adrenaline-seeking adventures. Who knows Heather, I've always sensed chemistry between you two. Maybe you should give it a shot"

"hm, maybe I will" Heather answered, before pushing up her breasts and walking over to the forge. It was here that Hiccup was tightening Toothless' new saddle. "Okay bud. Now this new saddle has choices. We have normal mode, where I control your tail and then there's solo mode, gives you a chance for some lone gliding."

"Hello stranger" Heather said as she entered the room. "Whoa, Heather? Oh my gods, long time no see, huh?" Hiccup said in extreme shock. Heather stood still with her hands behind her back, trying to impress Hiccup with her cleavage, which was distinguishly bigger than it was last time they met. "I just wanna say" she started, before adding "I talked to Ruffnut today"

"Oh yeah. How was she?" Hiccup asked, completely oblivious to Heather's intentions. "Oh, she's fine. Really, but she told me about you"

"What about me?" Hiccup asked, only for Heather to sit on his lap, directly on his crotch, and holding his hand gently

"Well. See, I like you Hiccup. You're a funny guy. I've always sensed this...chemistry between you and me. And, in case you're wondering, my _basement_ is clean, if you know what I mean."

"What do you mean?" Hiccup asked in confusion.

"Well, I mean my vagina doesn't have anything wrong with it like herpes or syphiliss or any other type of venerial diseases"

"What? No, I mean, what do you mean about chemistry and what did Ruffnut tell you about me?"

"Well you know, you're still single, and your dad's gonna make you chief any day now, so. Why don't we get to know each other a little better" before kissing him on the lips gently, before getting her tongue involved. Astrid walked up to the forge and saw the two, looking through a window as she sharpened her axe. "That son of a troll" she said quietly. Meanwhile, Hiccup was wide eyed as Heather kissed him, before pushing her away and saying "no. I can't do this"

"You don't want to be with me?" Heather asked, before adding "if it's about my VJ, then I was telling the truth. I'm clean as a new whistle"

"No, it's not that, Heather. It's just. Look, you're a beautiful young woman, any guy's gonna be lucky to have you. But, had this been a week ago, and if Astrid wasn't available, I'd probably be going through that tunnel like a mole, but that's the thing. Astrid is my girlfriend now. And, I love her, and I'll never betray or hurt her. And that's a promise". Hearing this gave Astrid a wide smile as she ran in and kissed Hiccup, pushing Heather out of the way as she did this. Heather picked herself up and said "oh so, you two are a couple now?"

"Yes, Heather" Astrid said gently, keeping her kind tone as she said "so, if you ever touch Hiccup below his waist again, I will stab you in the groin and cut out your uterus" Heather clutching her privates nervously, only for Astrid to hug her gently, saying "it's okay. I won't hurt you, just as long as you stay out of Hiccup's pants, that's _my_ area. Okay?"

"Okay" Heather said, wiping the tears from her eyes and saying "But oh my gods. I'm so happy for you guys. I'd love an invitation when you two tie the knot"

"Well, how'd you like to be a godmother to one of our kids?" Astrid asked, both girls laughing as Heather hugged Astrid this time, before saying "so, you guys enjoy your baby making. And I need to go talk to Ruffnut" as she went to the Great Hall. Astrid waved Heather goodbye and closed the doors and windows, before going to Hiccup and kissing his neck to his cheek, as Hiccup said "well, nice pep talk with Heather" Astrid answering "and I can't say that your little speech about me didn't turn me on" as she peeled off her shirt and kissed him on the lips, Hiccup saying "I'm gonna enjoy saying goodbye like this"


End file.
